Blog

When you stop letting other people’s opinions run your life, everything gets a little lighter. You breathe easier. You think more clearly. You remember what you actually want instead of what everyone else thinks you should do. Most folks are quick to judge from the sidelines anyway, they don’t know your story, your struggles, or the strength it took to get here. And honestly, their comments aren’t advice; it’s just background noise.

The people who genuinely care about you? They don’t twist your trust or turn your mistakes into gossip. They don’t stand behind you with a knife. They stand with you, even when things get messy. So choose your circle with intention, protect your peace like it’s gold, and let your life be shaped by your values, your growth, and your truth — not by the opinions of people who were never meant to guide your path.

The Basic Skill Most People Don’t Actually Know: Cooking from Memory

Cooking used to be one of those everyday skills everyone picked up without thinking. You watched your mother, grandmother, aunties, sisters or uncles move around the kitchen, and eventually you learned how to make a few dishes by heart. No recipe card, no YouTube tutorial.  Just memory, reflex, and repetition.

But today, cooking has quietly become a “lost basic skill.”

We live in a world of convenience:

Fast food on every corner

Meal kits that arrive pre‑measured

Restaurants offering curbside pickup

Grocery stores filled with ready‑to‑heat meals

And because of that, fewer people actually know how to cook a simple meal from scratch. Not gourmet. Not Instagram‑worthy. Just a basic, nourishing dish built from ingredients, memory, and certainty.

Cooking from memory is more than a skill, it’s a form of independence. It teaches:

How to combine flavors

How to adjust when something goes wrong

How to feed yourself and others

It’s a life skill that builds strength, creativity, and even cultural identity. Yet many people today feel overwhelmed by the idea of cooking without a recipe, as if it’s some advanced art instead of a basic human practice.

Maybe it’s time we reclaim that simplicity. Maybe the most “basic skill” worth relearning is the one that nourishes us.

I have to be honest — the YouTube app is pretty much always open on my screen. It’s my little writing buddy. I’m obsessed with K‑dramas and C‑dramas, but half the time I’m not even watching them; I’m just listening while I write. Some folks need music or an audiobook to get in their flow, but me? Give me a good drama and I’m set.

Do I feel bad about that? I’m supposed to be listening to something more “productive.” But the answer is no. Absolutely not. Those dramas are part of my creative rhythm. The ancient‑China ones especially pull me in with their sweeping stories and gorgeous hanfu outfits. The embroidery, the colors, the layers… it all feels so imaginative. Having them playing in the background makes my writing space feel a little more magical, and I’m not apologizing for what inspires me.

Seeing these outfits laid out like this just reminds me why I keep those dramas playing while I write. They’re soft, artistic, full of history, and they bring this gentle creative energy into my space that I’ve really grown attached to. It’s wild how something as simple as background noise can shift the whole vibe of a writing day, but that’s exactly what these ancient‑China dramas do for me. They keep me inspired, grounded.

The Hard Years were more than a chapter in my career but also in my spirit. They were the years when women were finally being sent out to sea, but acceptance lagged far behind policy. I remember the ache of leaving my daughter and husband. Saying goodbye to them weighed heavy in my heart but I couldn’t show my sadness. I also knew stepping onto the ship meant stepping into a fight to be seen, valued, and to be allowed to belong.

Navigating Prejudice as a Black Female Leader

There was still prejudice woven into the culture of the military, sometimes whispered, sometimes blatant. And as a lead female, and an African American woman, I felt every ounce of it. I had to work twice as hard, speak twice as clearly, and prove myself twice over just to earn the respect men received without question. Every qualification questioned, every moment of leadership shadowed by the pressure to be perfect, because any mistake would be blamed not on me, but on my gender, my race, my presence.

Strength in Adversity

Those years stretched me. They tested me. They carved strength into me in ways I didn’t always recognize at the time. But they also taught me the power of standing firm, of showing up even when the world isn’t ready for you, and of becoming the kind of woman who makes space for the ones who come after.

Spaghetti Squash

Spaghetti squash might just be the most underrated comfort food on the planet especially if you’ve spent years thinking it’s a sad substitute for pasta. This golden gourd doesn’t just twirl like noodles; it delivers real nutritional power, offering fiber, antioxidants, and vitamin C while staying naturally low‑calorie.

When I was younger, though, it was a very different story. The texture felt strange, the taste didn’t appeal to me, and I couldn’t imagine choosing it on purpose. But over time my palate shifted, and what once felt unappetizing now tastes surprisingly yummy. It’s funny how foods especially vegetables can grow on you, becoming little healthy comforts you never expected.